Daniil Kharms
translated by Matvei Yankelevich
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My
opinion of traveling is succinct: when
traveling, do not go too far or else you might see something that will even be
impossible to forget. And if anything settles in the memory too stubbornly, a
person first starts to feel uneasy, and then it gets quite difficult to keep up
the vivacity of the soul.
So,
for instance: one watchmaker, Comrade Badaev, could
not forget a phrase he heard once long ago: “If the sky were crooked, it
wouldn’t make it any lower.” Comrade Badaev didn’t
really get this saying, it irritated him, he found it unreasonable, even
lacking any kind of sense, malignant even, because its claim was obviously
incorrect (Comrade Badaev felt that a knowledgeable
physicist could say something regarding “the height of the sky” and would
question the expression “the sky is crooked.” Were this phrase to get to
Pearlman, Comrade Badaev was certain, Pearlman would
tear its meaning to shreds, the way a young pup tears up house slippers),
obviously antagonistic to the normal pattern of European thought. If indeed the
claim contained in this saying were true, then it was too unimportant and
worthless to speak of. And in any case, hearing this phrase just once, one
ought right away to forget it. But he couldn’t make that happen: Comrade Badaev constantly remembered this phrase and suffered
greatly.
It is
healthy for a person to know only that which he is supposed to. I can offer the
following incident as an example: one person knew a little more,
and another a bit less than they were supposed to know. And what happened? The
one that knew a bit less got rich, and the one that knew a little more lived
his whole life with simply adequate means.
Since
ancient times, people have wondered about what was smart and what was stupid.
In that regard, I remember this incident: when my aunt gave me a writing desk
as a gift, I said to myself: “Well now I’ll sit down at this desk and the first
thought I come up with at this desk will be especially smart.” But I could not
come up with an especially smart thought. Then I said to myself: “Okay. I
wasn’t able to come up with an especially smart thought, so I’ll come up with
an especially stupid one.” But I couldn’t come up with an especially stupid
thought either.
Everything
that’s extreme is difficult. The middle parts are done more easily. The very
center requires no effort at all. The center is equal to equilibrium. There’s
no fight in it.
Is it
necessary to get out of equilibrium?
While
traveling, do not give yourself over to daydreams, but fantasize and pay
attention to everything, even the insignificant details.
When
sitting in place do not kick your feet.
Any
old wisdom is good if somebody has understood it. A wisdom that hasn’t been
understood may get covered in dust.
There lived a
redheaded man who had no eyes or ears. He didn’t have hair either, so he was
called a redhead arbitrarily. He couldn’t talk because he had no mouth. He had
no nose either. He didn’t even have arms or legs. He had no stomach, he had no
back, he had no spine, and he had no innards at all. He didn’t have anything.
So we don’t even know who we’re talking about. It’s
better that we don’t talk about him any more.