Andrew Morgan

FEATURED WORK
• She Cheats On Me With Aaron Eckhart Sometimes
• Bird Salsa

She Cheats On Me With Aaron Eckhart Sometimes

So I walk in on them post-fuck. Aaron’s leaning back against the headboard, clicker in hand, watching TV. Dick hanging out. She’s laying across the bed at his feet on her stomach. Ass in the air. Reading a mag. God, she’s so unrepentant.


In the flooded department store, I’m floating down the aisles on various pool toys. A raft. A beach ball. A bald-headed man surfaces. Nasty grin. With a needle he pops the raft from underneath. I move to the beach ball. He pops the beach ball.


“I can handle the ball being deflated,” I say.

“Yes,” he replies, “but can you handle a bald man with leprosy?”

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Bird Salsa

I accept a bag of Bird Salsa. It’s a clear cellophane package. Small. Squishy. The label on the bag obscures the contents. But at the edge of the bag, they are visible: little bird feet.

The bag of Bird Salsa is on the table. I see it move out of the corner of my eye. I grasp the plastic bag and pull it open and set it back on the table. After a struggle, one of the tiny birds emerges. It has miraculously survived the machinery at the Bird Salsa plant. It’s a bit mangled and stumbles around the table. It’s hideous. I’m horrified.

I sat to piss. It was yellow mixed with red. Oil and balsamic vinegar. Some pooled on the seat. I wiped at it with a ten dollar bill, smeared it around.

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